Ch 2 – World’s Biggest Joke

Floating motionless in the river, Lei Yu’s body suddenly shuddered. That lightning strike entered through one of Lei Yu’s arm, a powerful force constantly invading throughout his entire body. Ten minutes or so later, Lei Yu’s body stopped shuddering. That lightning strike had already completely entered Lei Yu’s body, leaving behind a mark, the brand of a lightning.

In an unknown paradise, beautiful flowers were blooming everywhere, the birds in the sky were chirping, beasts were in the woods crying, this was the depiction of the environment’s vitality. At the edge of this paradise by the river shore, there lay a youth with ragged clothes on with parts of his body charred. The youth’s body suddenly moved. A nearby deer was drinking water suddenly turned around and fled out of fear.

This youth was not some random person, it was Lei Yu that had jumped off the cliff.

Trembling while opening his eyes, Lei Yu looked around him. Even though he did not have the strength to stand up and get out of the river, he laughed uncontrollably. He laughed for a variety of reasons. Lei Yu then gathered his strength and screamed out: “I did not die! Lei family! Lei Yun! You guys just wait and see, wait for me!”

It was at this time, Lei Yu felt his arm, right below the shoulder area had a burning sensation. Struggling to turn his neck, looking at his arm and a suddenly amazement appeared in his eyes. “This… this is… this is a brand!”

Summoning an unknown strength, Lei Yu crawled out of the river and sat down. At the edge of the shore, Lei Yu carefully focused on the burning sensation in his arm. Suddenly within his mind, a bizarre martial arts cultivation method appeared.

The explanation of the martial arts cultivation method were very in-depth. Clearly telling him how to condense his internal energy (known as qi) and how to practice the moves. Lei Yu had never seen or heard of these cultivation methods before. But these techniques felt like it was carved into his brain, extremely clear and easy to understand.

This cultivation method had the power of lightning with a simple rating system consisting of 6 stages. The first stage was “Lightning Foundation”, releasing the power of the lightning to help cultivate the beginning stage. The second stage was “Body Refining”, using the power of lightning to cultivate a stronger outer body. The third stage was “Integration” fusing attacks with the lightning’s characteristic in order to perform a paralysis effect. The fourth stage “Energy Suppression”, using the magnetic field characteristic of lightning and centering it on one’s self, it can manipulate the surrounding atmosphere into the body, thus completely hiding their presence. The fifth stage “Discharge,” releasing the attributes of lightning through the body, one’s attack would have a slight amount of elemental lightning damage to it. The sixth stage “Detachment” completely releases the force of lightning inside the body, in order to materialize it as an outside attack.

Within his heart, Lei Yu was unable to use any words to describe his excitement. The age old saying “If you don’t die after experiencing a huge calamity, luck will surely come your way” was actually true. He had actually attained the family’s most distinguished lightning brand and gained a peerless martial art cultivation method.

Lei Yu had once gone over the Lei family’s old manuscripts, and one of them recorded the history of the family. Of the Lei descendants, the ones with the most pure blood had the lightning brand, then followed by the flame brand. However, after the third generation Lei’s passed away, the lightning brand never appeared in the family ever again. Therefore the flame brand became the most revered brand. Now that the lightning brand had appeared on Lei Yu’s body, could anyone imagine how excited he was?

Urgently closing his eyes tightly, Lei Yu then began carefully sensing the recorded martial cultivation methods in his mind. Lei Yu surprisingly realized that he could see all the minute details of what was happening inside his body.

Lines of purple energy was continuously flowing throughout his body. Inside his Sea of Energy (acupuncture point in the bladder area), he could feel a large amount of energy condensed there. Having read countless books in the past, Lei Yu knew exactly what this represented. It meant that he was no longer an ordinary person practicing martials arts, he was now able to practice what ordinary people could only dream of, internal energy. And then, the practicing method to cultivate his internal energy appeared in his mind.

Following the cultivation method step by step, Lei Yu started circulating the air out of his dantian (acupuncture point near bladder) area. Each time he tried to circulate the air out, it would immediately disperse if his concentration was distracted. After several attempts, Lei Yu was finally able to barely control a thin and weak line of internal energy. Following the methods inside his mind, he slowly propelled the energy through his meridians.

As the internal energy coursed through his meridians, Lei Yu was surprised to find that it felt like he was being bathed in sunlight. The warm and comfortable feeling almost caused Lei Yu to moan out loud in pleasure.

At this time, the internal energy approached a narrow point of his meridians and was unable to flow through. Lei Yu gathered a good amount of force before forcing it through. A “pop” sound could be heard. The meridian had actually ripped apart from the force. Lei Yu started sweating at this point.

“It broke! What should I do?” Fracturing of the meridians meant the internal energy would not be able to flow normally at all. But this was just a secondary issue, the main problem was the fracturing of the meridians would cause irreprehensible harm to the body. Starting at the fractured meridian point, pain began to spread throughout the route the internal energy had travelled through previously inside Lei Yu’s body. The once pleasurable warm feeling was now replaced by unbearable pain.

“God! Are you playing a joke on me?” Lei Yu felt like crying at this point. Originally, he survived a calamity without dying and gained a peerless martial cultivation method. He was not expecting his first try at cultivation would cause his meridians to fracture. Wasn’t this the heavens playing the worlds biggest joke on him?

His body began trembling non-stop. Lei Yu felt that he could not tolerate this pain anymore, especially when the pain became more intense as time went on.

As Lei Yu was about to give up, he felt a sudden tremor come from his body. An unknown green internal energy burst forth from his chest and spread throughout his body. Lei Yu examined this unknown mysterious energy and realized it did not belong to him. Lei Yu thought this was strange and wondered what it was.

With the arrival of this green energy, the fractured meridian began to absorb it like nourishment. The meridian then began recovering from the damage. While the meridian was recovering, Lei Yu’s own purple energy was waiting patiently close by, like one would wait at a bus stop. Kind of just hanging around waiting for the recovery to complete.

An hour later, the fractured meridian’s repair was a success. It even became more sturdy than the original. The walls surrounding meridian point had also became tougher. Lei Yu once again tried to control his internal energy to flow through this meridian point. This time it smoothly flowed through.

“I wonder what kind of power that was. Why could it repair meridians?” Especially when this force was not his own. After thinking about it, he couldn’t come up with an explanation so he just put it in the back of his mind. Lei Yu continued training according to the cultivation methods, pushing his energy through the meridians while that unknown energy lingered around. This mysterious energy followed Lei Yu’s energy like a warship escort. Each time he encountered a narrow meridian that fractured due to the pushing, this mysterious energy would immediately begin to repair it.

A full day later, Lei Yu felt tremendous changes occur inside his body. After multiple fractures and repairs, the original weak meridians had become extremely tough. And wherever his internal energy would pass through, the veins would grow larger and wider. Lei Yu also realized he was constantly absorbing the spiritual power in the surrounding environment.

Slowly opening his eyes, there were simply no words Lei Yu could use to describe his degree of excitement. Although being super excited, Lei Yu could not suppress his hunger. Being unconscious in the water for three days and practicing his martial cultivation for a whole day, Lei Yu had not eaten anything in a total of four days.

Standing up, Lei Yu suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable. “What is this sudden feeling?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m going to go look for food.”

Approaching a small forest area, Lei Yu went in cautiously. At this time, evening was approaching so the woods were getting dark. But Lei Yu was still able to see clearly all around.

In the distance, a tree was covered with purple/reddish fruit. Strangely, it was the only tree with such fruits. Lei Yu grabbed one, sniffed it, took a small bite, and experienced a sweet succulent taste. Unable to bear with his hunger any longer, Lei Yu started shoveling the fruits down his mouth. The juices of the fruit could be seen dribbling down the corner of his mouth. Enjoying the flavor of the fruit, Lei Yu ate over ten of them without stopping.

Lei Yu then realized this forest was technically an unknown place to him, so he best not stay here, especially when night was approaching. Patting his full stomach, Lei Yu went back to the river’s shore to sit down.

Once again, closing his eyes and concentrating, he began to practice the cultivation methods inside his mind. Lei Yu was surprised to find out that the undigested fruits inside his stomach was an excellent source of energy for cultivation. The fruits happen to contain vital elements beneficial to cultivators. Lei Yu was overjoyed – able to feel the gradual changes inside his body; the internal energy circulating everywhere; the mysterious green energy as a protector; and his body constantly surpassing its limits. Lei Yu now understood the definition of “earth-shaking” changes.

Everyday, Lei Yu would go back to that same tree and eat the fruits for sustenance. He was surprised to find that these fruits did not seem to deplete at all. After eating some, he would come back the next day and it seemed like the fruits regrew. Lei Yu was overjoyed, at this rate, he would never run out of food. Lei Yu did not give too much thought into this miraculous circumstance.


(T/N: Random powerup will be explained really far ahead. The very convenient tree that never runs out of food will be explained in Chapter 33)

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20 Responses to Ch 2 – World’s Biggest Joke

  1. Pingback: Chap 2 is ready! | omgitsaray translations

  2. Khai Huynh says:

    A nearby deer was drinking water suddenly turned around a fled out of fear.

    You should change a to and

    A nearby deer was drinking water suddenly turned around and fled out of fear.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Khai Huynh says:

    His laughed for a variety of reasons

    You should change His to He

    He laughed for a variety of reasons


  4. bobertrobert123 says:

    Thanks for the chapter 🙂


  5. blubb3rm4n says:

    Lei Yu!! You are not alone!! Thank you translator!!


  6. midoriha says:

    Thanks a lot!
    He suffered 8 years of verbal(probably physical too, if what happened with that other guy was a common ocurrence)…now his fate is to become more powerul…!


  7. great chapter thanks 😀


  8. agila0212 says:

    This chapter reminds me of ST which is great! Thx for the chapter


  9. Afraz Ahmed says:

    ya know…. when will the comedy come ? im waiting for the BANTER ¬ !


  10. Pingback: 9 Heavenly Thunder Manual Chapter Released | Light Novels Heaven

  11. That tree is weird as shitz


  12. Tasear says:

    The fourth wall….!

    – Thanks


  13. Inter dictor says:

    Man, this start is even more “convenient” than most xianxia starts!


  14. thanks for the chapter


  15. megajoke says:

    He wasn’t lying infinite, cultivation fruit super plot armor

    Liked by 1 person

  16. kenchan223 says:

    so uh, this is taking place in modern era??


  17. Kryzin says:

    Thxs for the chapter.


  18. SC P says:

    for the mc there is no such thing as too convenient


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